The Be Project: Empowering Youth to be part of the solution to end relationship violence

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Empowering youth to be a part of the solution to end relationship violence.


Recognizing abuse is the first step to preventing it. Protect yourself and your friends from relationship violence.

Red Flags


Red Flags of an Abuser

  • Disrespects you, your family, and friends.
  • Calls you names, threatens you, intimidates you, insults you, or manipulates you to get their way.
  • Blames you for how they treat you, or for anything bad that happens.
  • They are always angry at someone or something.
  • Your partner tries to isolate you and control who you see or where you go.
  • Pressures you or forces you to engage in sexual activities even though you don’t want to.
  • They are repeatedly physically rough with you in a way that makes you feel unsafe or uncomfortable.
  • They threaten you. For example, they threaten to physically hurt you, break up with you, spread your secrets, or to hurt themselves.
  • They break your personal property when they are angry or upset with you.
  • Your partner often accuses you of flirting with someone or cheating.
  • Things always have to be done your partner’s way. Nothing is ever good enough for them.
  • Blames all arguments and problems on you.

Red Flags of Someone Being Abused

  • Lost interest in things that were once important to him/her.
  • Stops spending as much time with friends.
  • Seems afraid of their partner.
  • Makes excuses for the behavior of their partner.
  • Has unexplained or frequent injuries.
  • Seems depressed or isolated.
  • Is self-critical and often puts themselves down.
  • Has a partner who makes most or all of the decisions about what s/he will do, and where s/he will go.
  • Has a partner who frequently calls and want to know where s/he is at all times.

Is Your Relationship Healthy Quiz


The person I'm with...

  • (1) Is supportive of the things I do?
  • (2) Encourages me to try new things?
  • (3) Understands that I have my own life too?
  • (4) Gets mad when I don’t text back?
  • (5) Thinks I spend too much time trying to look nice?
  • (6) Gets extremely jealous?
  • (7) Accuses me of flirting or cheating?
  • (8) Tries to control what I do or who I see?
  • (9) Puts me down, calls me names or criticizes me?
  • (10) Threatens to hurt me, my friends, or family?

Answering yes to 1-3 is a sign of healthy relationship.


Answering yes to 4-7 is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.


Answering yes to 8-10 is a sign of an abusive relationship.